Pinch Me
by Shiro Ryuu
Summary: [ONESHOT] But doesn't everyone want to hose the neighbor's cat and eat steak and mint ice cream at six in the morning? A day in Ryou and Bakura’s life... To the tune of the Barenaked Ladies... Yes, that’s right, be afraid. VERY afraid.


**Disclaimer**: Poor Mr. Tomato!!! ...Yes, in case you hadn't guessed, Demon Diary isn't mine _either_.  
  
**SR**: Ah, my first new fic under the name Shiro Ryuu! I figured it would just have to be fluffy :) [for more info, see my bio!] This was written right after I tried mint chocolate chip ice cream for the first time... Yes, sad, huh? Fifteen years old, and I'm just now trying mint chocolate chip ice cream... [sweatdrop] Let's just say that, after I added so much chocolate sauce that it went from white to mud-colored, I really like it! XD My dad won't even make an _effort_; someone's gotta eat it... Also influenced by getting online to look for the lyrics to 'Vindicated' by the Dashboard Confessionals, finding the lyrics to 'Pinch Me' by the Barenaked Ladies instead, and becoming instantly inspired... Knock your socks off!  
  
============================_Pinch Me_============================  
  
_It's the perfect time of year _

_Somewhere far away from here _

_I feel fine enough I guess _

_Considering everything's a mess _

_There's a restaurant down the street _

_Where hungry people like to eat _

_I could walk but I'll just drive _

_It's colder than it looks outside_  
  
"Bakura-chan!" Ryou whined, as said yami tried to drag him out of bed. "I don't wanna get up!"  
  
Bakura just rolled his eyes, and kissed him on the nose. 'I can't believe I did that... But he's so bloody cute... Argh! 'Bloody' cute?' "Don't call me Bakura-chan," he snapped, but Ryou only giggled. He was beginning to get used to this tough act of Bakura's... "Anyway, yes you do; aren't you starving?"  
  
Ryou glanced at the alarm clock, and shot his koi a skeptical look. "At six o'clock, Saturday morning? Um, _no_. C'mon, just a few more minutes; please?"  
  
Bakura shook his head firmly. "Nope. I've been up for _hours_ waiting for that one restaurant to open."  
  
Ryou's eyebrow went higher still. "Why a restaurant? You mean the one we went to on Thursday?"  
  
He nodded enthusiastically. "That's the one. I want to try that mi'int chip creamed ice you got, or whatever it's called."  
  
"Mint chocolate chip ice cream?" Ryou moaned, from somewhere back under the covers. "You don't eat mint ice-cream for breakfast! I'm going back to sleep, yami."  
  
Bakura regarded the lump on the bed for a moment, before deftly flinging the sheets off. "I don't think so," he smirked, rolling them up into a ball and tossing them carelessly over his shoulder.  
  
Ryou groaned again, curling up a little tighter against the cool autumn morning air. He really wished Bakura wouldn't mess up his bed... He did it so often, after all... He blushed just thinking about _that_. Then he went even more red, as Bakura grabbed his wrists and gently pinned them to the mattress above his head, kneeling over him.  
  
Bakura felt his breath come a little short, looking down at him. Such innocent, trusting eyes... He had been meaning to try and scare him out of bed, but suddenly he didn't have the heart. Those eyes made him feel like he needed to be more responsible, or something like that... "Ryou, you... you're really..." Suddenly, he really, _really_ needed to kiss him. But, he... "You... You need to get out of bed, for Ra's sake!" Bakura felt himself going red, cursed under his breath, and hurriedly got up.  
  
Ryou giggled, watching him get up and start gathering up his sheets. Bakura would kill anyone who said it, of course, but he was so incredibly shy. When it came to things like voicing his feelings... Ryou got out of bed and crossed the room quietly, placing a hand on his yami's shoulder. And when Bakura turned around, he caught him in a deep kiss.  
  
Bakura stiffed briefly, then relaxed under the onslaught. He allowed himself to be pressed up against the wall, even. Ryou knelt between his legs, kissing him, dominating him... what an interesting variation... Abruptly, he pulled away for air. "Ryou, I... am so, so hungry."  
  
Ryou just laughed, though it came out a bit breathlessly, and they stood up. Bakura brushed himself off, awkwardly avoiding eye-contact, then suddenly dragged Ryou out the door. "Come on, already!"  
  
_It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone _

_Then you try to scream, but it only comes out as a yawn _

_When you try to see the world beyond your front door _

_Take your time, 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile _

_When you realize that a guy my size might take a while _

_Just try to figure out what all this is for_  
  
After returning to the house so Ryou could get dressed (Bakura: wimp!!!), they were on their way. "I still don't see why we should drive," Ryou complained, though he obediently climbed into the driver's seat of his somewhat antique car. "The place is only a couple blocks away, and it's warm enough if you'd just put on a decent number of layers. It's only October!"  
  
Bakura sniffled miserably, despite the fact that he'd been out of the house for less than a minute, and turned the heater up another notch. "Egypt was _much_ warmer than this," he grumbled, shooting an evil glare at the brown leaves falling from the trees.  
  
Ryou twitched as his yami turned the heat up, and took off his scarf... Then, smiling just ever so slightly, he threw it at Bakura and watched as he tried to figure out how to put it on.  
  
Finally, they made it to the restaurant. They were one of the first people in. The waitress watched them with mild interest out of the corner of her eye, as Ryou had to take Bakura's menu and turn it right side up.  
  
"Why are you even looking?" he whispered. "You know you can't read Japanese; I'll just read off some stuff..."  
  
"I can look at the pictures," he said firmly. "Hey, look at that!"  
  
Ryou sweatdropped. "That's a steak, Bakura... You don't eat steak for breakfast."  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"...I just did?"  
  
"Yes, well, you have no taste in food. You like you steak _cooked_, for crying out loud."  
  
"Well, I-"  
  
"Are you, um, ready to order?"  
  
Ryou ordered a pancake, an egg, and some bacon. And despite his best efforts, in the end, Bakura still wound up ordering steak, 'uncooked, please,' and mint chocolate-chip ice-cream... The waitress considered mentioning that they didn't serve steak until after eleven o'clock, but there was something rather disturbing about that guy...  
  
Once she was gone, Ryou buried his face in his hands. "Ryou?" Bakura inquired curiously.  
  
"...Nothing..."  
  
Later, after the steak was hastily devoured and half the eggs, bacon and pancakes were eaten at a slightly more sedate pace, Bakura regarded ice cream. "Hmm... That doesn't smell quite like I'd imagined, but..." He opened him mouth, shoving a big spoon-full of ice cream inside.  
  
He looked thoughtful for a moment... swallowed... and drank Ryou's entire glass of orange juice. "Yughk! That tastes like _tooth paste_!"  
  
Ryou sweatdropped again, quite thoroughly aware of the restaurant's few other occupants staring at them. "Well, it is an acquired taste, I suppose..."  
  
Bakura made a face, shoving the bowl away. "You eat it; I don't want it. I'll eat your pork instead." Ryou just sighed, trying to sink into the booth's cushions as his yami started inhaling the bacon.  
  
Only once it was all gone did Bakura notice that Ryou hadn't touched the ice cream. He rolled his eyes. "You aren't still going on about how creamed ice isn't food for the morning, are you?"  
  
Ryou scoffed. "_Some of us_ are civilized - mph!" Mmm, mint and chocolate chips...  
  
He couldn't help but blush, as he swallowed and Bakura took the spoon back out of his mouth. Now everyone was really staring... Bakura, oblivious as always, just grinned that slightly deranged grin of his and said, "See! It tastes just as good in the morning... Wait, I mean just as bad..."  
  
Ryou shot him a scathing look... But nevertheless giggled and let him when he tried to feed him a second bite... and a third...  
  
_It's the perfect time of day _

_To throw all your cares away _

_Put the sprinkler on the lawn _

_And run through with my gym shorts on _

_Take a drink right from the hose _

_Change in to some drier clothes _

_Climb the stairs up to my room _

_And sleep away the afternoon_  
  
Ryou sighed, washing a few dishes while he waited for the cookies he was making to bake. He had decided that warm cookies would be just the thing to cheer Bakura up; he just hoped he could find the yami before they went cold...  
  
Bakura had spent the morning going between whining about the cold, and whining about Ryou babying him. 'I can handle being cold! Yes, I will take your hot coco, but I can handle it, really!' Then, around eleven, he almost kissed him. Then he ran outside to parts unknown, and Ryou hadn't seen him since. He was really going to have to do something about this shy thing...  
  
He just didn't know what, exactly. Ryou shot a 'why me?' sort of look out the window at the gray clouds... And then something at the edge of his vision caught his eye... He gaped for a moment, then dropped the dish he was washing and went running outside.  
  
"_Bakura_! Have you completely lost it?!" Ryou hollered from the front porch. He didn't want to go any further out, because he didn't want to get wet too.  
  
Bakura just grinned at him. There he stood, dripping wet, in the middle of their front yard wearing swim trunks. He had apparently figured out how to work the sprinkler system. The suspiciously soaking neighbor's cat let out a wretched yowl before disappearing behind the hedge, but at the moment this was the least of Ryou's worries.  
  
"Are you trying to catch pneumonia?" he demanded, resisting the temptation to throw something heavy at his darker half. "I thought you were _cold_! Get inside right now!"  
  
Bakura ignored him completely, as usual. "I made the neighbor's cat _really_ wet!" he said, sounding far too happy. "I got wet too, but... Y'know, I don't really feel that cold anymore!"  
  
"That's because you're numb!" Ryou moaned, running a hand through his hair in hopeless frustration. Then he took a deep breath, and started over. "Look, maybe you don't know what pneumonia is, but you're going to get sick if you stay out here. Please come in? I have fresh cookies! They're your favorite kind, even!"  
  
Bakura seemed to consider this. "Chocolate chip? With no mi'int this time?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Yes."  
  
"...Well, okay."  
  
_On an evening such as this _

_It's hard to tell if I exist _

_If I pack the car and leave this town _

_Who'll notice that I'm not around? _

_I could hide out under there _

_I just made you say underwear _

_I could leave, but I'll just stay _

_All my stuff's here anyway_  
  
Bakura allowed himself to be dragged inside, telling himself firmly that he was only doing this for the cookies. He wasn't worried about some disease... And more importantly, he didn't care if his hikari was throwing a hissy fit... Then something hit him.  
  
"You know, you're worrying over nothing," he said sagely. "Since I'm dead and all, I don't think I really have to worry about getting sick."  
  
Ryou just continued to drag him firmly behind him. "I'd say, if you can feel hot and cold, and you can most _certainly_ eat, then you can probably get sick." He sat him down at one of the chair at the kitchen table, and put a tray of cookies in front of him. "Here, eat; I'm going to make you some coco and get some towels. Honestly, I don't know what you were thinking..."  
  
Bakura gaped at him. 'He sounds like a mother!'  
  
Ryou bustled about, getting a couple towels and a blanket for after he was dry, and making the coco. Bakura naturally demolished all the cookies in this time, and asked if there were any more. He seemed to have a near inhuman capacity for sweets; it had to be something about being a spirit. Ryou sighed as he set a second tray in front of him. He was beginning to feel the effects of getting up so early, since he had stayed up late the night before _thinking_ he'd get to sleep in today. He swore this was sometimes almost like raising a child - the most evil, ill-behaved, shameless child ever, mind you - rather than being in a serious relationship. It didn't help that Bakura could hardly ever get past his own pride enough to show some sign of affection...  
  
Then Bakura glanced up at him, hearing him sigh. "You okay? Have a cookie." And he shoved one in his mouth before he could even casually mention that he wasn't hungry. Ryou couldn't help but grin - around said cookie, of course.  
  
He swallowed, and abruptly sat down in Bakura's lap. "Can we go upstairs?" he asked, pouting cutely.  
  
Bakura stared. 'Why does he have to be so... damn... _sexy_?' "Okay," he said, then cursed himself a million times over for sounding so lame and dazed.  
  
Ryou giggled, and lifted his head slightly to kiss him. A few moments later he squeaked as, still kissing him back, Bakura picked him up at started carrying him up to the bedroom.  
  
_It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone _

_Then you try to scream, but it only comes out as a yawn _

_When you try to see the world beyond your front door _

_Take your time, 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile _

_When you realize that a guy my size might take a while _

_Just try to figure out what all this is for _

_Try to see the world beyond your front door  
  
Pinch me, pinch me 'cause I'm still asleep _

_Please God tell me that I'm still asleep_  
  
Bakura dropped Ryou rather unceremoniously onto the bed, then got on too and draped his blanket over both of them. Ryou chuckled, cuddling up close to him and threading his fingers through Bakura's hair. "You're still damp... Why on earth did you do that, anyway?"  
  
"Um... It seemed like fun?"  
  
Ryou shook his head. "You're so weird..." And then Bakura kissed him.  
  
It was a slow kiss at first; Bakura's nervousness showed. But he deepened it, wrapping his arms around his hikari and pulling him close. Ryou's fingertips brushed the other's bare chest, and he blushed. It wasn't as if they hadn't done it before, of course, but he'd... sort of... caught him by surprise...  
  
Suddenly, Bakura pulled away. Ryou sighed, fully expecting him to disappear again, but the spirit didn't even look away. He just looked awkward. "Ryou, I... I..."  
  
Ryou searched his eyes, pleading silently with him. 'Please just say it, for once... please...'  
  
"I love you. So very, very much."  
  
Ryou could feel his eyes tear up slightly, as he flung his arms around Bakura's neck. The yami yelped, and he could tell he was blushing without even having to look, but he didn't really care. Then he tried to say something else.  
  
"But, um... about that whole getting sick thing, I... I... ACHOOO!"  
  
===============================================================  
  
**SR**: [sparkle] ...Sparkle? Argh, too much Fruits Basket... XD So, what'd ya think??? I thought it was kawaii! But don't worry, I'm sure my opinion will change as soon as I re-read it... Was this really PG-13? I kinda had to think about it, but I'm pretty sure [sweatdrop] I'm just super paranoid, now that I've been booted once T.T Well, even if ya didn't think it was PG- 13, and even if Bakura being wimpy and sweet bugged ya (I thought it was funny!), R&R!


End file.
